The Greedy Queen
In a land far, far…. really far away, like not on this planet far away, like beyond Star Wars faraway. Anyways, I’m getting off topic, so anyways there was a young Princess. Now you should know that the rules are a little different in this land, and by a little I mean a lot. In this far away land of Genswiznia the girls chase the boys. In Genswiznia there were still castles and beautiful untouched lands as far as the eye can see, a truly pure planet with no pollution, no sickness, no war, and no death, the sun light was always shining down from the vibrant blue sky on its beautiful green meadows, the sun truly never set on the kingdom of Genswiznia. Us earthlings have caught glimpses of this far far far away planet in our high tech telescopes and have dubbed it “Heaven.” All was calm in Genswiznia, there was one ruler on the planet, A fair King named Jezebel and her faithful husband, Queen Jim. Every night all the subjects of the land were invited into King Jezebel’s enormous luxurious castle for a feast in which they honored the good King with praises of “Oh! you’re the greatest ruler in all the land!” and “Long live the King!” and don’t forget about “King Jezebel forever!” and all was good, until the good Queen started to get jealous of the praises the King got. After all, he was important too! Every morning he got up and bathed in the crystal like waters in the meadow, he brushes his long luxurious blonde hair 200 times on each side and puts on his makeup. All the King ever did was make important political decisions, eat, fart, and keep the peace. One day the jealous Queen Jim was pushed to the edge
“You never pay any attention to me! tell me I’m PRETTY!” he exclaimed.
The good King Jezebel took a second to think about what she should do.
“My good husband.” Jezebel said calmly
“I’m listening…” Queen Jim said, waiting for her response.
“Yours is the most important part to be played in the kingdom.” King Jezebel said.
“Really…?” The Queen said waiting for a response.
“Of course my beautiful husband!” she exclaimed “you are the face of the kingdom, you are on all the coins as you requested, banners of your face hang from the castle walls, I even changed the flag to a picture of your face!”
Queen Jim pondered on this for a second. “Well if I’m so important then make me the king.” he said slyly.
“My faithful husband…” King Jezebel started “I am the one the people chose, and I chose you, is that not enough?”
“Not. even. close.” Queen Jim said while his bottom lip stuck out in a pouting face.
“I can do no more for you then,” The King said in a gentle tone. “If you still desire more then I’m afraid you will have to find someone else to get it for you.”
The good king Jezebel slept on the royal couch that night. When she awoke she walked to the bedroom to speak with Queen Jim, but he was nowhere to be found, she searched in the kitchen, expecting to find the Queen yelling at the cooks, but all was calm. She searched the bathroom where the Queen could often be found stroking his long luxurious hair. She even searched the common room where the couch warm from her sleep there. The good Queen Jim was gone.
Miles away was Queen Jim, walking through the forest, complaining because his high heels both snapped and his hair was caught in a branch. Just as Queen Jim was about to get untangled a booming voice could be heard.
“WHO DARES TREAD ONTO MY LAND?!?!”
“I’m the Queen, haven’t you seen the coins, or the flag? Who are you?” the Queen said with sass.
“I AM THE WICKED WIZARD!!” the voice responded and a man in a black cloak and red boots appeared with a wicked laugh.
“Never heard of you. I bet your face isn’t on a single coin” the Queen said getting impatient. “Are you going to turn me into a toad or something? Because I’m getting impatient.”
The Wicked Wizard saw an opportunity in the distressed Queen.
“I’d like to strike a deal with you.” he said with a snake like hiss. “I will grant one wish of your choice at a price.”
“Make me king.” the Queen said without hesitation.
“You don’t even want to know what the price is?” the Wizard said surprised.
“I was just going to sit here in the woods until Jezebel made me King anyways, this is just speeding up the process.” Jim said
“Go back to your kingdom, and you will find things much different.” the Wicked Wizard demanded.
When the now King Jim made it back to the kingdom she found it to be mostly the same. The former King Jezebel was nowhere to be found! All that could be found was a gross toad jumping around in the throne room. Jim was finally king. As he sat down in the throne he was immediately bombarded with questions, “Why are my pigs being taxed?”
“Someone stole my horses.”
“That man stabbed me.”
It was too much for the dimwitted King Jim to handle! He gave up after only 2 hours.
“I GIVE UP!” the distressed King Jim yelled.
Just then the Wicked Wizard showed up in a cloud of black smoke, laughing maniacally.
“too much for the good King Jim to handle?”
“This is boooooring,” Jim groaned “I haven’t even taken my second bath today!”
The Wicked Wizard laughed and laughed.
“Well if you would have asked what the price you were to pay was you would know that if you give up I get to turn you and all your subjects into toads and rule Genswiznia forever! Muahahaha!”
Jim was instantly turned into a toad along with everyone else in the kingdom. Now that Jim was a toad he recognized the toad in the throne room, it was Jezebel! They hopped off into the meadow and lived happily ever after as gross toads while the Wicked Wizard ruled over a kingdom with no subjects.
The Greedy Queen